I'll never forget that moment of sheer terror. That split second where I knew that I might not make it out of there alive. When I got to work at 7:00 that fall morning it was a beautiful day; how could I have known that in a couple of hours the world would be a profoundly different place, and that I would leave work to a city so quiet that I would hear only the sound of my footsteps that afternoon? I was 22 years old and spent September 11, 2001, in the White House Situation Room. For five years I have tried to figure out both why I stayed that day, and why I decided to leave less than five months later.
I considered Washington, DC, to be home by the time I graduated from the George Washington University in 2000. I had a degree in International Affairs and I wanted to change the world. My sister knew someone who worked at the National Security Council and told him about me. When he found out I had been an intern at the U.S. Department of State during college, he passed along my resume to Tim, the Director of the Records Management Office, who was looking for someone to fill a soon-to-be open position. After speaking to the man who was to become my boss, I made arrangements to travel to DC for an interview.
The Eisenhower Executive Office Building (EEOB), known to many as the Old Executive Office Building, is a huge grey building that looks like it came straight from Europe. Located at 17th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, it is part of the White House complex, and I had been there once before while an intern at State. I arrived at the interview and met with Tim, the director of the Records Management Office at the NSC. We had a brief interview where I was reminded that I was not going to be in a position to make policy, but I would basically know everything that was going on in the NSC. Records Management is the office that keeps the NSC running. As a Staff Information Assistant, I was to be one of the people that made sure all the paperwork got to the people who needed to it, when they needed it. It sounded like an opportunity to see how the government worked at the highest levels, and it was a job I couldn't pass up.
I had lunch with Greg, the man I was going to replace, and we had an interesting discussion about whether U.S. foreign policy is proactive or reactive, and though I thought I knew the answer, he was unwilling to tell me if I was right or wrong. I'd have to find out for myself. (I said then and I say now it's reactive.) After lunch he wanted to show me around a little bit, and we went back to the EEOB. After a brief stop back at the office, we went down the elevator and out a set of electric double doors. A quick left turn and there it was: the West Wing. I was awed and couldn't think of anything to say. We walked across West Executive Avenue, now used as a parking lot, walked through the doors into the West Wing, down a few stairs, and came to a wooden door with a simple gold plaque. It read "White House Situation Room." He punched a code into the keypad on the wall, the door lock clicked open, and we entered. It was smaller than I expected, but nonetheless an incredible place to be. I took a quick look around and was introduced to Chuck, the Staff Information Assistant who was on duty in the Sit Room at what was called "West Wing Desk" (WWD). Before the NSC's Executive Secretariat was moved to an office in the West Wing adjacent to the Sit Room, the only NSC representative in the West Wing other than the National Security Advisor was the person in the Sit Room. WWD was situated right outside the office of the Director of the White House Situation Room, and was responsible for ensuring the flow of information to the President, National Security Advisor, and other officials both in the White House and throughout the federal government. I was hooked, and couldn't wait to start working.
Several months later, after an FBI background investigation, I received my security clearances and was ready to begin. November 20, 2000, two months before the end of the Clinton presidency, I walked through the White House gates as an NSC staff member. It was an interesting time to start, since all of the Clinton records had to be shipped to the National Archives and we had to start transitioning to a new Administration, but we still didn't know whom the next President would be. I remember thinking that it wouldn't really make a difference; he'd probably serve one term and be forgotten after eight years of Clinton. As we all know, the U.S. Supreme Court declared George W. Bush President after a bitter legal battle over Florida ballots. Although I "served at the pleasure of the President," I wasn't worried about losing my job because I was a career appointee, not a political appointee. People in my position didn't change with the Administration, we weren't high enough on the ladder for anyone to think about, and there were rules against a lot of political participation by us, anyway.
I spent several months working out of the Records Management office in the EEOB, until around March 2001, when I started to get trained at West Wing Desk. We were kept on a rotating schedule, so I would spend a week or two in the office, and then a week in the Sit Room. It got pretty hectic there at times, especially when there was a big meeting about to take place but the documents that all the participants weren't ready until just before the meeting was scheduled to start. The person at WWD always got blamed when something went wrong, and was usually ignored when he pulled everything together at the last minute, despite the lack of help from those who could. A break from WWD duty was always welcome, but being in the Sit Room was always more exciting that being in the EEOB.
During the summer of 2001, I switched from the day shift to the morning shift, which meant that instead of being at work at 12:30 pm, I'd have to be there at 7:00 am. It was earlier than I like to be anywhere, but it made my commute a lot easier, and when I had to stay late I could still get home without it taking over an hour. It was pure coincidence that led to my being in the Sit Room on September 11th; it just happened to be my week at WWD.
As I did every morning at WWD, I arrived in the Sit Room around 6:50 am and turned on my computer. While waiting for it to boot up, I reviewed the "Due List," a daily checklist from the NSC Executive Secretariat (Exec Sec) of items we needed to be on the lookout for, such as reports to Congress, correspondence with foreign leaders and materials for upcoming NSC-led meetings. The "Night Notes" email was the first one I read once my computer was running; it was sent nightly to the Records staff by whoever was at WWD so that the morning staffer knew where key documents were in the West Wing, and had additional notes of items to watch for. Nothing exciting, so I took care of some other work and settled in for another day at the White House.
It began as a simple statement from the Senior Duty Officer (SDO) in the operations center of the Sit Room. "We have a report of a plane hitting the World Trade Center in New York." That was all we knew. I remember thinking that it would be really hard to miss those buildings, but how much damage could a small plane do? I didn't yet know that it was a commercial airliner, and I'd heard it was a private plane that had some sort of problem and couldn't avoid a collision or pilot error. That all changed when moments later I heard the SDO say that FAA was reporting a possible hijacking. Apparently a pilot had hit a button on the airplane's stick that alerted authorities to a takeover of the plane, and that report was passed to us. The NSC senior staff was in the middle of their daily meeting in the Sit Room conference room when the news came in, and one of the duty officers informed Dr. Rice and the others what was happening. Since CNN was always on in the Sit Room, the senior staffers briefly moved from the conference room to the operations center to watch, but there was little information at that point, so they returned to the conference room and quickly concluded their meeting.
Around this time, Raymond came over from the Records office in the EEOB to bring me the latest documents to process and send through the chain in the West Wing, likely to land on the desk of Dr. Rice or the President in the near future, and so that I could give him some work to do in the office. We briefly stepped out onto West Executive Avenue so I could have a smoke and tell him about what was going on in New York. While we talked I couldn't stop thinking about how many people could be killed if someone successfully attacked the Twin Towers. 5,000? 10,000? It's hard to even imagine that number of people dying at the same time, but seemed like a possibility. A few minutes later Raymond and I parted ways, and I returned to the Sit Room to find Dr. Rice and most of the senior staff standing in the operations center watching the news. Less than a minute later it got much, much worse.
I considered Washington, DC, to be home by the time I graduated from the George Washington University in 2000. I had a degree in International Affairs and I wanted to change the world. My sister knew someone who worked at the National Security Council and told him about me. When he found out I had been an intern at the U.S. Department of State during college, he passed along my resume to Tim, the Director of the Records Management Office, who was looking for someone to fill a soon-to-be open position. After speaking to the man who was to become my boss, I made arrangements to travel to DC for an interview.
The Eisenhower Executive Office Building (EEOB), known to many as the Old Executive Office Building, is a huge grey building that looks like it came straight from Europe. Located at 17th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, it is part of the White House complex, and I had been there once before while an intern at State. I arrived at the interview and met with Tim, the director of the Records Management Office at the NSC. We had a brief interview where I was reminded that I was not going to be in a position to make policy, but I would basically know everything that was going on in the NSC. Records Management is the office that keeps the NSC running. As a Staff Information Assistant, I was to be one of the people that made sure all the paperwork got to the people who needed to it, when they needed it. It sounded like an opportunity to see how the government worked at the highest levels, and it was a job I couldn't pass up.
I had lunch with Greg, the man I was going to replace, and we had an interesting discussion about whether U.S. foreign policy is proactive or reactive, and though I thought I knew the answer, he was unwilling to tell me if I was right or wrong. I'd have to find out for myself. (I said then and I say now it's reactive.) After lunch he wanted to show me around a little bit, and we went back to the EEOB. After a brief stop back at the office, we went down the elevator and out a set of electric double doors. A quick left turn and there it was: the West Wing. I was awed and couldn't think of anything to say. We walked across West Executive Avenue, now used as a parking lot, walked through the doors into the West Wing, down a few stairs, and came to a wooden door with a simple gold plaque. It read "White House Situation Room." He punched a code into the keypad on the wall, the door lock clicked open, and we entered. It was smaller than I expected, but nonetheless an incredible place to be. I took a quick look around and was introduced to Chuck, the Staff Information Assistant who was on duty in the Sit Room at what was called "West Wing Desk" (WWD). Before the NSC's Executive Secretariat was moved to an office in the West Wing adjacent to the Sit Room, the only NSC representative in the West Wing other than the National Security Advisor was the person in the Sit Room. WWD was situated right outside the office of the Director of the White House Situation Room, and was responsible for ensuring the flow of information to the President, National Security Advisor, and other officials both in the White House and throughout the federal government. I was hooked, and couldn't wait to start working.
Several months later, after an FBI background investigation, I received my security clearances and was ready to begin. November 20, 2000, two months before the end of the Clinton presidency, I walked through the White House gates as an NSC staff member. It was an interesting time to start, since all of the Clinton records had to be shipped to the National Archives and we had to start transitioning to a new Administration, but we still didn't know whom the next President would be. I remember thinking that it wouldn't really make a difference; he'd probably serve one term and be forgotten after eight years of Clinton. As we all know, the U.S. Supreme Court declared George W. Bush President after a bitter legal battle over Florida ballots. Although I "served at the pleasure of the President," I wasn't worried about losing my job because I was a career appointee, not a political appointee. People in my position didn't change with the Administration, we weren't high enough on the ladder for anyone to think about, and there were rules against a lot of political participation by us, anyway.
I spent several months working out of the Records Management office in the EEOB, until around March 2001, when I started to get trained at West Wing Desk. We were kept on a rotating schedule, so I would spend a week or two in the office, and then a week in the Sit Room. It got pretty hectic there at times, especially when there was a big meeting about to take place but the documents that all the participants weren't ready until just before the meeting was scheduled to start. The person at WWD always got blamed when something went wrong, and was usually ignored when he pulled everything together at the last minute, despite the lack of help from those who could. A break from WWD duty was always welcome, but being in the Sit Room was always more exciting that being in the EEOB.
During the summer of 2001, I switched from the day shift to the morning shift, which meant that instead of being at work at 12:30 pm, I'd have to be there at 7:00 am. It was earlier than I like to be anywhere, but it made my commute a lot easier, and when I had to stay late I could still get home without it taking over an hour. It was pure coincidence that led to my being in the Sit Room on September 11th; it just happened to be my week at WWD.
As I did every morning at WWD, I arrived in the Sit Room around 6:50 am and turned on my computer. While waiting for it to boot up, I reviewed the "Due List," a daily checklist from the NSC Executive Secretariat (Exec Sec) of items we needed to be on the lookout for, such as reports to Congress, correspondence with foreign leaders and materials for upcoming NSC-led meetings. The "Night Notes" email was the first one I read once my computer was running; it was sent nightly to the Records staff by whoever was at WWD so that the morning staffer knew where key documents were in the West Wing, and had additional notes of items to watch for. Nothing exciting, so I took care of some other work and settled in for another day at the White House.
It began as a simple statement from the Senior Duty Officer (SDO) in the operations center of the Sit Room. "We have a report of a plane hitting the World Trade Center in New York." That was all we knew. I remember thinking that it would be really hard to miss those buildings, but how much damage could a small plane do? I didn't yet know that it was a commercial airliner, and I'd heard it was a private plane that had some sort of problem and couldn't avoid a collision or pilot error. That all changed when moments later I heard the SDO say that FAA was reporting a possible hijacking. Apparently a pilot had hit a button on the airplane's stick that alerted authorities to a takeover of the plane, and that report was passed to us. The NSC senior staff was in the middle of their daily meeting in the Sit Room conference room when the news came in, and one of the duty officers informed Dr. Rice and the others what was happening. Since CNN was always on in the Sit Room, the senior staffers briefly moved from the conference room to the operations center to watch, but there was little information at that point, so they returned to the conference room and quickly concluded their meeting.
Around this time, Raymond came over from the Records office in the EEOB to bring me the latest documents to process and send through the chain in the West Wing, likely to land on the desk of Dr. Rice or the President in the near future, and so that I could give him some work to do in the office. We briefly stepped out onto West Executive Avenue so I could have a smoke and tell him about what was going on in New York. While we talked I couldn't stop thinking about how many people could be killed if someone successfully attacked the Twin Towers. 5,000? 10,000? It's hard to even imagine that number of people dying at the same time, but seemed like a possibility. A few minutes later Raymond and I parted ways, and I returned to the Sit Room to find Dr. Rice and most of the senior staff standing in the operations center watching the news. Less than a minute later it got much, much worse.
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